Comments on: A Divorce in India http://www.commonties.com/blog/2006/10/30/a-divorce-in-india/ Listen to stories on anything from honeymoons to WWII, from award-winning journalists to first-time writers alike, from anywhere in the world. Fri, 21 Nov 2008 22:25:07 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.4 by: chaynika katyal http://www.commonties.com/blog/2006/10/30/a-divorce-in-india/#comment-57530 Wed, 22 Oct 2008 13:51:15 +0000 http://www.commonties.com/blog/2006/10/30/a-divorce-in-india/#comment-57530 Even i am going through the same situation ,but in india familes are too complex some times.I am staying with my husband from last 2 years but from the first day till now i dont feel like i am marrid i simply want to divorce him as we are nor happy with each other many time he force me to have baby but i dont like ti have child with that guy.Simply want to live live alone.. Chaynika katyal delhi Even i am going through the same situation ,but in india familes are too complex some times.I am staying with my husband from last 2 years but from the first day till now i dont feel like i am marrid i simply want to divorce him as we are nor happy with each other many time he force me to have baby but i dont like ti have child with that guy.Simply want to live live alone..

Chaynika katyal delhi

]]> by: Deepak Appu http://www.commonties.com/blog/2006/10/30/a-divorce-in-india/#comment-56659 Mon, 14 Jul 2008 16:30:10 +0000 http://www.commonties.com/blog/2006/10/30/a-divorce-in-india/#comment-56659 I too am moved by the woman's plight. However this is just one side of the story. Women can be as self centered as men. What goes for the goose goes for the gander too. So portaying women as victims of divorces or marital situations is not correct. The pathos of the story stands out because of adverse social fabric of society not because of the divorce per se. If the end result of a divorce were a happier situation for the male and female would that be ok then? So logically speaking a divorce is only a separation between male and female and the end result of happiness and sadness is a fallout of the social situation not the divorce. I too am moved by the woman’s plight. However this is just one side of the story. Women can be as self centered as men. What goes for the goose goes for the gander too. So portaying women as victims of divorces or marital situations is not correct. The pathos of the story stands out because of adverse social fabric of society not because of the divorce per se. If the end result of a divorce were a happier situation for the male and female would that be ok then? So logically speaking a divorce is only a separation between male and female and the end result of happiness and sadness is a fallout of the social situation not the divorce.

]]> by: Susan http://www.commonties.com/blog/2006/10/30/a-divorce-in-india/#comment-55553 Wed, 04 Jun 2008 05:54:22 +0000 http://www.commonties.com/blog/2006/10/30/a-divorce-in-india/#comment-55553 Thanks for the story. I am just going through a similar situation, contemplating the thought of divorce. My problems are not as severe as what is mentioned here; but I doubt if there is love in my marriage. It looks like it is for convenience and certain status in the society. I don't know what future has in store for me; just wanted to let others know this is not the story of 1 person or 2; a lot of households will have the same story to tell, few choosing to tell it out. Thanks for the story. I am just going through a similar situation, contemplating the thought of divorce. My problems are not as severe as what is mentioned here; but I doubt if there is love in my marriage. It looks like it is for convenience and certain status in the society. I don’t know what future has in store for me; just wanted to let others know this is not the story of 1 person or 2; a lot of households will have the same story to tell, few choosing to tell it out.

]]> by: pd http://www.commonties.com/blog/2006/10/30/a-divorce-in-india/#comment-46673 Sat, 19 Apr 2008 01:57:31 +0000 http://www.commonties.com/blog/2006/10/30/a-divorce-in-india/#comment-46673 Thanks for this story, I am going to something similar emotionally, and must say, you have a way with words. You really described a woman's point of view and strength with regards to making a marriage work. I am glad that your friend's family is supportive, as I get my strenght from my family who is being very supportive right now. Thanks for this story, I am going to something similar emotionally, and must say, you have a way with words. You really described a woman’s point of view and strength with regards to making a marriage work. I am glad that your friend’s family is supportive, as I get my strenght from my family who is being very supportive right now.

]]> by: Joe http://www.commonties.com/blog/2006/10/30/a-divorce-in-india/#comment-46622 Wed, 16 Apr 2008 10:10:56 +0000 http://www.commonties.com/blog/2006/10/30/a-divorce-in-india/#comment-46622 This story grabbed me straight away. It invoked feelings of emotion and I managed to climb into the writers mind. I come from a country where men believe they have power over women and as a result women are often mistreated. I also come from a broken home and as much as this woman does not like failure, she needs to think about what this is doing to her children. Will her son grow up thinking that this is indeed the way a woman is to be treated? Will her daughter grow up, enter a marriage and take the beating and emotional abuse because in her mind, this is just how it is? Sometimes failure is not just resulted to how you live your life, but how you influence the lives of others. This story grabbed me straight away. It invoked feelings of emotion and I managed to climb into the writers mind. I come from a country where men believe they have power over women and as a result women are often mistreated.
I also come from a broken home and as much as this woman does not like failure, she needs to think about what this is doing to her children. Will her son grow up thinking that this is indeed the way a woman is to be treated? Will her daughter grow up, enter a marriage and take the beating and emotional abuse because in her mind, this is just how it is?
Sometimes failure is not just resulted to how you live your life, but how you influence the lives of others.

]]> by: Denise_2 http://www.commonties.com/blog/2006/10/30/a-divorce-in-india/#comment-46571 Sun, 13 Apr 2008 05:56:07 +0000 http://www.commonties.com/blog/2006/10/30/a-divorce-in-india/#comment-46571 I, too, recently faced this decision, though the abuse was of a verbal not physical nature. There is life after divorce, albeit one that is wary of future partners having been burned so badly once. Thank you, Neelmani, for sharing your friend's story. I wish her all the best on her path to recovery from living in such terror. I, too, recently faced this decision, though the abuse was of a verbal not physical nature. There is life after divorce, albeit one that is wary of future partners having been burned so badly once.

Thank you, Neelmani, for sharing your friend’s story. I wish her all the best on her path to recovery from living in such terror.

]]> by: Annie http://www.commonties.com/blog/2006/10/30/a-divorce-in-india/#comment-45542 Sun, 16 Mar 2008 02:13:10 +0000 http://www.commonties.com/blog/2006/10/30/a-divorce-in-india/#comment-45542 I am choked at the sentiments of Neelmani, I feel like going and rescuing her myself. After being married for 25 years and in my early 40s, I am divorcing the psycho now. I too believed in everything she described, but psycho is psycho. It took me 25 years to say I am worthy and have an identity. My hats of to Andrea, a women strength success is yet to be acknowledged. I am ashamed at the Indian mothers, sisters, wifes sisterinlaws, who are we if we don't value our breath. I have always been an advocate for women always helping but I did not help me. I have 2 beautiful children, 17 and 13, this is not their fault, I have to clean up this mess and show our existence has a cause not to be destroyed by any lowlife, Koodos to a new life. I am choked at the sentiments of Neelmani, I feel like going and rescuing her myself. After being married for 25 years and in my early 40s, I am divorcing the psycho now. I too believed in everything she described, but psycho is psycho. It took me 25 years to say I am worthy and have an identity. My hats of to Andrea, a women strength success is yet to be acknowledged. I am ashamed at the Indian mothers, sisters, wifes sisterinlaws, who are we if we don’t value our breath. I have always been an advocate for women always helping but I did not help me. I have 2 beautiful children, 17 and 13, this is not their fault, I have to clean up this mess and show our existence has a cause not to be destroyed by any lowlife, Koodos to a new life.

]]> by: Andrea http://www.commonties.com/blog/2006/10/30/a-divorce-in-india/#comment-45148 Tue, 04 Mar 2008 23:26:58 +0000 http://www.commonties.com/blog/2006/10/30/a-divorce-in-india/#comment-45148 I am very moved by this story. It is sad and repeated in many homes and all cultures. I too believed that marriage was sacred and blessed by God. However, my exhusband did not. Of all the problems that I ever imagined I might have in life after I married, divorce was never one of them. I am now taking things in my own hands and Neelmani, please let the woman know that one day, she will be astonished by her strength and success and wonder why she tried so hard when he clearly was 'gone' from the marriage at the start. I wish you a fine journey of growth! I am very moved by this story. It is sad and repeated in many homes and all cultures. I too believed that marriage was sacred and blessed by God. However, my exhusband did not. Of all the problems that I ever imagined I might have in life after I married, divorce was never one of them. I am now taking things in my own hands and Neelmani, please let the woman know that one day, she will be astonished by her strength and success and wonder why she tried so hard when he clearly was ‘gone’ from the marriage at the start. I wish you a fine journey of growth!

]]> by: Melanie http://www.commonties.com/blog/2006/10/30/a-divorce-in-india/#comment-41357 Tue, 08 Jan 2008 03:12:23 +0000 http://www.commonties.com/blog/2006/10/30/a-divorce-in-india/#comment-41357 Congratulations Neelmani, for deciding to leave. I\'m sure you have heard of shaken baby syndrome. Your husband could have killed your daughter that night. Thank God she is OK, and please know that you are doing the right thing by protecting your children. Congratulations Neelmani, for deciding to leave. I\’m sure you have heard of shaken baby syndrome. Your husband could have killed your daughter that night.
Thank God she is OK, and please know that you are doing the right thing by protecting your children.

]]> by: Pradeep http://www.commonties.com/blog/2006/10/30/a-divorce-in-india/#comment-5111 Thu, 22 Mar 2007 01:07:08 +0000 http://www.commonties.com/blog/2006/10/30/a-divorce-in-india/#comment-5111 Its time that the men in indian society change their prespective towards women. India is a male dominated society, also the culture in india is different, the girl child is not treated equal as a boy child because of the custom that when she is married she will have to stay ein a different house and she must feel that as her home.. and also.. the boy child is treated well because it is assumed that he will be looking after the parents in their old age. Its sad that we make descrimination based on the sex. I believe that the author has brought this story to all of our attention, but where does this lead to.. just a blog.. it sometimes sad that we cannot do anything but just read the articles.. most of the people are hipocrates.. Its time that the men in indian society change their prespective towards women.

India is a male dominated society, also the culture in india is different, the girl child is not treated equal as a boy child because of the custom that when she is married she will have to stay ein a different house and she must feel that as her home.. and also.. the boy child is treated well because it is assumed that he will be looking after the parents in their old age.

Its sad that we make descrimination based on the sex.

I believe that the author has brought this story to all of our attention, but where does this lead to.. just a blog.. it sometimes sad that we cannot do anything but just read the articles.. most of the people are hipocrates..

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