The Top of the Wall
1945, Mauthausen and vicinity, near Linz, Austria; and 2007, Palo Alto, California
By George G. Heller
“Did you bring your new climbing harness?” the rock-climbing instructor at the Palo Alto YMCA asked me. I showed him the gift from my grandchildren for my 83rd birthday.
For several years now, my climbing has been a weekly event. When I climb, I remember what I learned in Mauthausen. On the top of the wall, there is a 4-foot banner that reads: It’s Possible. I made the banner to encourage new climbers.
When I was learning how to climb, around the time of my 76th birthday, many people thought that I wouldn’t make it to the top. But I learned many years ago never to give up hope. I survived the Holocaust by clinging to hope and faith. I had to believe that survival was possible.
During the Holocaust, I had been a slave laborer in Hungary and in Austria. I arrived in Mauthausen during early April in 1945. Along the way, while on a death march, I picked grass in the fields when there was nothing else to eat.
When we arrived at Mauthausen, and I saw the hill I had to climb, I hesitated. Do I want to die here and now, at the bottom of the hill, or be killed when I get to the top, if I ever make it? I chose to climb. Perhaps, just perhaps, I might just make it.
There was one day in April 1945 that I will never forget. It was a bright, clear day. We were standing outside in the tent camp. We all knew that the end of the war was only days or weeks away. Could we survive that long?
Four of us stood together and talked. We had known each other since we were 10 years old. We grew up together in Budapest. We had attended the same gymnasium for eight years and had been together since we were ordered into the slave labor camp in Hungary.
Zoli was my friend. We shared everything. Robert and George were the two top students in our school.
As we stood there, Robert looked depressed. “I can’t take this anymore,” he said. “I have given up hope. There is no possible way we can come out of this alive.” He barely finished his words. He fell to the floor and died on the spot.
That day, I learned the lesson I will never forget: when we give up hope and faith, we have chosen to die.
Three of us survived and were liberated by the U.S. Army. We still had the strength to walk. Eventually, we reached the Alpenjaeger Kaserne. It was originally built for the German army. Now it was unoccupied, and the Americans took it over to provide a place for the survivors to stay, to be deloused and to be fed.
Those of us who were still alive began to realize how our lives have changed. We survived! We were alive! It was now up to us to start anew, to build, to create and to strive. We all had to believe that it was possible.
Many of the survivors were very ill. Those who could no longer continue on their own dragged themselves to the gate. Periodically, a truck would come by. It would take those waiting to a hospital. Another truck would come and pick up the bodies of those who died. They were taken to be buried in a mass grave nearby.
I last saw George several days after liberation. He was sitting at the gate. He was very sick and was trying to get to a hospital. We talked. He was still full of hope.
Shortly after liberation, Zoli started heading home. He hoped to find some of his family still alive in Budapest. I was ill. And I was convinced that nobody in my family could have possibly survived. I did not leave with him.
Not many days later, I followed George’s path to the gate. I was taken to a hospital. For several days, I did not even have the strength to turn around in my bed. Both the doctors and I almost gave up on me. But then things began to change. I learned to stand up and walk. When I got to a scale, I weighed approximately 80 pounds. I was 21 years old.
Eventually, I recovered, and using my language skills, I worked for the American Army and the United Nations as an interpreter.
I came to the U.S. during the summer of 1946. Many years later, I visited the Jewish cemetery in Budapest. It had a beautiful Holocaust memorial. I found the names of Robert and George among the martyrs who perished in Mauthausen. George never made it home. He tried so hard. Robert gave up.
As I think of my friends I last saw more than 60 years ago, I sometimes wonder how I survived as so many perished. It took luck and determination. Although luck is beyond our control, determination is available to us all.
Each year, on or around my birthday, I climb the wall as a symbol of my continued determination. This year, I bring fond memories of my friends Robert and George to the top of the wall with me.
I dedicate this story to their memory.
A Holocaust survivor, George Heller is a retired IBM computer scientist. His contributions, in the areas of computer education and information systems development, were widely reported in the professional and popular press. The Heller family Web site includes some of his recent Holocaust stories, as well as other publications, photographs, and links to other resources.
Posted by Elizabeth Armstrong Moore on Friday, August 3rd, 2007 | Email This PostThis entry was posted on Friday, August 3rd, 2007 at 12:01 am. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
23 Responses to “The Top of the Wall”
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August 3rd, 2007 at 6:51 pm
Thank you for sharing your story and reminding us that hope and faith can move mountains. You are incredible men and made me believe in myself.
August 3rd, 2007 at 8:42 pm
Dear Mr. Heller: Thank you for sharing your story. I will always remember what you have said. The world is better because you are in it.
August 3rd, 2007 at 9:48 pm
Thanks to our Navy friend, Don Ravey both of us enjoyed reading your ” Blog”. Your courage and faith is definitely shown throughout your experiences, good and bad. Thank you for passing this message on to us. Sincerely, Bill and Bern
August 7th, 2007 at 3:12 pm
I just met George and his lovely Iby today. His story of faith and determination are examples that we all can learn from. Not only is he a survivor but a contributor to our society with his volunteer work and community involvement. I hope to establish a wonderful relationship with this man and his wife.
Warm Regards,
Carolyn Daly
August 7th, 2007 at 3:23 pm
Hi,
It is a wonderful story. It is quite impressive that you are able to be climbing like you are. Congratulations and keep it up.
Best Regards,
Jimmy
August 9th, 2007 at 3:28 pm
Mr.Heller,I thank you fromthe bottom of my heart for your story,for you wall climbing,it to me shows that If you never give up that you will get thru every thing that you need to.My father was in the service in the second war,he was in Japan for the occupation.After he got out of the service he married my mother I came along in 1952.I even served my Country in the U.S.Air Force,he served in the U.S.Army Air Force.
The point I’m trying to make is this even though both of us never went thru what you did.We had our own demons to deal with due to our service in the military. My dad passed away in 1984,I have battled depression and susicidal feeling since I served my country.I still keep my hopes up and that I will be able to get thru each day.My Father and are Both alocholics(non practicing)He was sober for more that25 years me I’m working on my 16 and a half years. Thank you for your story of inspiration.Mike G.
August 10th, 2007 at 9:00 am
Dear George,
Although we are friends since the 1950’s, I never heard about your war experiences. I always knew you were an upbeat person who was never discouraged by hard work. You had the vision to make your own future with Iby, my Manhattan roommate. Your intrepid heart will keep you climbing all the days of your life, which will continue to be full of love and adventure.
With great affection for you and Iby,
Eunice and Marvin
August 10th, 2007 at 6:16 pm
Thank you, George, for sharing your story. May the light of hope & determination continue to shine for you and and everyone you touch. It is so important to pass your story on as your are doing.
Love to you and Iby,
Hadas
August 11th, 2007 at 5:37 pm
Thank you, George, for sending this to me. I plan to forward it to my office and use it as part of Holocaust education in the Beth-El high school. I know that our teens will be inspired, as I have been, by reading your story. Much love to you and Iby, and best wishes on your birthday for continued strength.
Miriam
August 12th, 2007 at 11:42 am
Dear Mr. Heller,
The saddest part of the Holocaust is the fact that so many died during and after Liberation, having already survived so much and so long. Your instincts were borne out; you have to keep fighting, keep climbing.
Thank you and continued best wishes to you and yours.
August 14th, 2007 at 8:25 am
Dear George,
Thanks for sharing your story with the 21st century soft generation. The present day generation think that Holocaust it was mith.It was real. Keep climbing and keep encouraging us with your stories. You and Iby are always in our thoughts and prayer.
with love and regard.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:21 am
Thank you for a very inspirational story. This story gives me strength to overcome my problems, which are trivial in comparison.
August 18th, 2007 at 10:59 am
Dear George,
It is wonderful to hear more of your story. Keep on writing.
In these several years I have known you and Iby, I certainly appreciate the fact that the difficulty you went through did not embitter you and deter you from being the wonderful person you are.
This true story is an inspiration for all of us to keep trying in the case of any obstacles that are presented to us.
August 25th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
George,
I promised you that I would respond to your inspiring Top of the Wall article. You are an inspiration to all…… I consider myself so very fortunate to have crossed paths and become close friends with your family. We think the world of Steve, Debbie, Becca, Shari and Ilana, and Iby and you too!!!! It’s always wonderful to celebrate with you.
Love,
Marcy
August 26th, 2007 at 3:01 pm
Your stories are an inspiration to all mankind. You bring meaning to “possitive thinking brings possitve results”. I will remember you throughout my life and share your stories with my children so they can also benifit and learn about courage, love and the power of possitive thinking. I am proud to be related to you.
Love,
Mark
September 10th, 2007 at 5:57 pm
This was an incredible story and an example of hope and courage. I bet there are many others but also, as someone said, it’s said to learn that so many who made it through to liberation, subsequently died. Thanks for sharing.
October 10th, 2007 at 3:18 pm
Dear George,
We have known you and Iby for over 12 years and never heard of your Fight-for-Life experiences. It is an honor to know you, thanks for sharing. Your faith, hope and strength is inspirational to us all. It is wonderful to hear you are still at it. Keep on climbing! Our love and best wishes to you, Iby and family.
Roz and Bob
November 23rd, 2007 at 10:24 am
Dear Iby and George,
Perhaps you will want to watch this 1944 broadcast from Nazi Germany of the first Jewish service towards the end of the war.
I hope that this Thanksgiving holiday has found you healthy with much gratitude on the table, as have I.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZihm6VlYjo
(Please send me your email address, as I appear to have only an old one on juno.)
Much love,
Hadas
November 25th, 2007 at 1:47 am
Thank you, Hadas, for the email, and good wishes. email: ggheller@alum.mit.edu
love Iby and George
December 25th, 2007 at 7:53 pm
Dear George,
Thank you for pointing me to your wonderful birthday photo and moving story. I have passed this along to several people who will appreciate it.
My daughter-in-law works at the Y where you climb, and my granddaughter comes with her. They have met you in the climbing area, and admire your prowess!
I wish you and Iby all the best in the New Year.
Eva
January 8th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Am very touched and warmed by the great spirit that you both display. Life goes on whether or not we decide to participate to the fullest. Thank you for your stories.
April 14th, 2008 at 10:12 am
Dear Mr. George G. Heller,
How are you sir?
I met you on 04/13/2008, at the “Day of Learning” event in San Francisco. We talked about your experience for few minutes, and I soon realized that you wanted to tell your story to as many young people as you can; you’ve radiated that urgency. And I must tell you that you’ve not wasted your time with me, I listened to you, and I promise to tell your story to others as well.
At one point I said, “I’m from Bangladesh, and though there are no Jews, still some hates Jews. Hating without knowing someone is unbelievable, but I’ve witnessed it”.
You responded by saying, “there are some bad people everywhere; and I’ve been to places where I was the only Jew. I’ve survived some of the worst camp. Please read about my experience online, just type in The Top of the Wall”.
You also emphasized on the importance of judging the individual, and not the entire group.
I just finished reading about your experience; and it is painful, but necessary to read about it, in order to learn.
You story would certainly help me to be a better person.
Thank you
Adnan Lermontov
adnan.lermontov@yahoo.com
April 15th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Dear Mr. Lermontov:
Thank you so much for your kind words and thoughtful comments. We only had a few minutes to talk at the Day of Learning last Sunday (4/13/2008). You did a truly excellent job finding my Common Ties story “The Top of the Wall.” I have a brief response about hatred, at:
http://www.hellers.ws/borrowed-time/hatred-response.pdf
A brief, but more complete story of my Holocaust experience, at:
http://hellers.ws/borrowed-time/passover-1945.shtml
And two stories written by the American soldiers who liberated me from the Gunskirchen Concentration Camp, at:
http://www.gusen.org/dok/gk/gk01x.htm
http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Holocaust/Gunskirchen.html